Better With Popcorn

You Know You're In Philly When...

It's pretty obvious that Gary Bettman wanted to be in and out of Philadelphia pretty quick. Considering that Philly fans once booed Santa Claus, I don't think Bettman wanted to stick around and see what was in store for him. But the NHL did go to Philly last night, where they awarded the coveted Stanley Cup, and you know you're in Philly when...

The trophy goes to the other team. Ok fine, low blow, especially coming from a Leaf fan. And yes, I know you guys got your World Series a couple of years back, but before that Philly had to have had the worst set of professional sports teams, but obviously Toronto has taken that throne.

But back to what I was saying, you know you're in Philly when...

They almost fly the winning team and the Stanley Cup to Chicago for the presentation, but because the fans are on good behaviour they decide to just hold the ceremony by the exit instead.

You take your child to the game and he goes home with a black eye and you're lucky if you go home at all.

Your 6 year old's football game has a tail gate party.

Head shots and leg stomps are actually taught at hockey practice.

The seat next to you at the Flyers game has a blood stain on it and a memorial around it.

Serving a prison sentence for running a dog fighting ring is actually located under achievements on your résumé.

Chris Pronger is what the city considers a model citizen and an all around great guy.

You start a hockey website, ask your dog for some rumours, and all of the sudden you're and insider. And people give you money for it.

The local bar has an ad that reads “Kids Drink Free on Tuesdays”

Hits like Mike Richards on David Booth count as two goals.

Your favourite team’s general manager thinks that a salary cap is just a hat with the word salary printed on the front.

Your hockey team has employed some of the most random goaltenders in its history.

You’ve witnessed a grown man tackle a child for a fly ball at a baseball game.

The number 87 is printed on each square on your roll of toilet paper.

But these are just a few of the many hints that you might be in Philadelphia, I’d love to hear some of yours.

I’m just playing Philly, please don’t hurt me.

Patrick Storto