Better With Popcorn

A Message to Flyerdom

I know the Flyers are 4-2-1 and I seem like a typical downer Philly fan, but if this team could play consistent game-in and game-out, they would be absolutely scary. I know some players have played really well. Carle, Richards, JVR, Briere, Asham – some have played decent, Giroux, Carter, OKT, Laperriere – but those few who haven’t here you go.

If Dustin Leed was head coach John Stevens for a day at the rink…

To: Mr. Simon Gagne – If you don’t get your ass moving, you’re playing on the fourth line. You aren’t doing anything to help this team win. If you’re too scared to get hit; get off the ice. If you’re too much of a superstar to skate hard; get off the ice. If you think you can get top line minutes because the name on the back of your jersey reads ‘Gagne’; get off the ice. If you are too afraid to play a hard 60 minutes because you think you are going to get hurt; get off the ice.

If you want to help the Flyers organization win – get your ass in gear because you are playing pathetic. Simon Gagne has zero goals in seven games. What gives Simon?

To: Mr. Scott Hartnell – I like the effort. You are just not catching the breaks. You’re a solid player and a force to be recon with when you want to play that way, you just need to play it consistently. You have one goal in seven games. One goal tells me you’re not playing your best. Also, you need to skate hard every single shift and not take breaks. A minus-3 in seven games is a bit disheartening, back-check hard every shift and stop showing the fans your lazy and uninspired side. You’re way better than what you’ve shown this team so far.

To: Mr. Braydon Coburn – This team has four wins on the year and you haven’t contributed one bit to that. But I will tell you, you’ve contributed to the three losses, that’s for damn sure. You’ve been absolutely horrible. Do you need a partner to go to some speed skating sessions, or do you think because you were drafted eighth overall you can be a player in this league by reputation alone? You get danced around constantly in the defensive zone and look like a pylon. You’re better than that.

We have played seven games. You have two assists in those seven games, and are an unexplainable minus-5. What the hell are you doing with your 6’5” 220-pound frame? You’re invisible, and if it keeps up, you’ll be getting Danny Syvret type ice time numbers, because thus far, that’s what you deserve.

Your game is actually, making Kimmo Timonen look bad. Funny – the three-time all-star is a minus-5 also. Sure, he’s put up some points – but you’ve got to play a more complete game.


To: Mr. Chris Pronger – Chris, can you tell me what makes you one of the best NHL defensemen in the game? Because I’ll be honest with you; I haven’t seen anything to prove me that? What I have seen is a turnover machine, someone who looks like they’re skating in mud. Don’t get me wrong. You are producing points for us – and that’s good, but in the defensive end, why don’t you start playing like ‘the nastiest player in the league.’ You’re a plus-5 and have brought out the best in teammate Matt Carle, but you can be better all-around.

To: Myself – Mr. John Stevens – If I don’t turn this around, my ass is fired. I don’t show any emotion, the team is never ready to play, and I need to start being a more intense head coach. If I don’t I am gone. This organization and franchise deserves better right now. We were picked by many to represent the East in the Finals, but you know what. Predictions don’t mean crap if my team isn’t ready to play. It’s time to take off the nice guy suit and put on the ‘take-no-crap’ Mr. emotional suit. Hell, I’ve watched some replays of my press conferences and I can’t even tell if we won or lost.. Maybe I should call-out some players sometime? Maybe I should get this locker room of guys to play for me.

Because I know – Mr. Snider, the team and all the fans of Philadelphia deserve better, I am not doing the best job that I can. And it needs to change – and change fast.